


even if we don't know (when our last will be)

by spicyomelette



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Discussion of Death, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyomelette/pseuds/spicyomelette
Summary: “Because one of us will die and the other will be left behind. I will die and leave you, or maybe you will die first and I’ll be left alone. If we are lucky we’ll die together, but I don’t know if we’re still going to be together after that, on the other side. Who knows what happens after you die?”Wonwoo didn’t, so he stayed silent.*Or the one in which Wonwoo and Junhui talked about death and happy ever after.





	even if we don't know (when our last will be)

 

\---

 

Wonwoo wordlessly guided Junhui into the apartment after unlocking the door without much fuss, one hand on the small of Junhui’s back. Junhui was silent as Wonwoo led them to the living room.

 

“Sit. I’ll make us some tea,” Wonwoo said.

 

Junhui nodded and slowly lowered himself onto the couch. Wonwoo made his way to the kitchen and promptly started to work, boiling some water in Junhui’s small kettle and opening the cabinet to take out the tea, two mugs, and tea spoons.

 

When Wonwoo came back to the living room, one cup of tea in each hand, he found Wonwoo with his head bowed, his shoulder hunched in grief. 

 

Wonwoo hadn’t personally known the old Chinese couple who previously owned the apartment Junhui was currently living in, though he’d heard a lot about them from Junhui. He knew they were both really kind to Junhui, letting him have the place with a really cheap price, even leaving all the furniture for Junhui to use for free. He knew Junhui had visited them at their son’s place a number of times. Because Junhui was one those people, you know, who wouldn’t just let go and immediately forget about you the moment your business with him was done. He liked to be _connected_ with people. Wonwoo thought it was kind of a complex. But Wonwoo didn’t feel like he had the right to judge since he was too detached even to his own liking. If Junhui cared too much, Wonwoo was the opposite.

 

But Wonwoo cared about Junhui, more than he did about a lot of other things, except maybe his family. And he knew to Junhui it felt like it had been his own grandmother who died instead of the previous owner of his place. Wonoo was silently relieved and grateful that he had been there the moment Junhui heard the news, and that it was Sunday so he could go with Junhui to the memorial service.  Not so much to pay his respect as to be there for Junhui.

 

He had actually bought his train ticket for this afternoon. He had been getting ready to leave when Junhui got the phone call. Wonwoo glanced at the clock as he put the cups on the coffee table. The train had left three hours ago.

 

“You missed your train,” Junhui suddenly said, as if he could read Wonwoo’s mind. Or maybe Junhui was just too observant. Wonwoo wasn’t completely sure it wasn’t both.

 

He took a seat next to Junhui. “Never mind. I’ll take a bus early in the morning,” he said. His first class started at eleven, he would make it if he left at seven o’clock. He reached forward to take one of the mugs and handed it over to Junhui, who accepted it with a grateful expression on his face.

 

They stayed like that, sitting side by side drinking their tea in silence for a few moments. Wonwoo knew Junhui’s mind was still on the funeral, on the grieving old man whose wife for fifty years had just passed away, leaving him and their children behind. Wonwoo knew Junhui felt somehow left behind as well. She might not be his real grandmother, but she had been a grandmother for him all the same. Wonwoo didn’t have words to make it better. He wasn’t exactly the person his friends would go to for comfort or consolation. Wonwoo was never good with words. Wonwoo also knew that Junhui knew that though, and if Junhui wanted to talk about it he would be the one to talk first. So Wonwoo sat there, next to Junhui, and waited.

 

After a while Junhui put his mug back down on the table and Wonwoo followed. It was getting dark outside and they would need to close the windows soon, Wonwoo mused offhandedly. Junhui dropped his head on Wonwoo’s left shoulder, his side pressing against Wonwoo’s. Wonwoo wordlessly took Junhui’s hand in his, fore finger tracing patterns on the back of Junhui’s palm in a way Wonwoo hoped was soothing.

 

“Hey, Wonwoo.” Junhui’s voice was almost a whisper.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Do you believe in happy ever after?” Junhui asked.

 

Wonwoo couldn’t look at Junhui’s eyes, but he could feel their burning gaze on his skin.

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “What about you?”

 

Junhui waited a few seconds before answering. “I don’t think I do,” he said.

 

“Why?” Wonwoo dared himself to ask.

 

Junhui shifted in his seat and Wonwoo moved his left arm to put it around Junhui. “Because I don’t think it exists. Because one of us will die and the other will be left behind. I will die and leave you, or maybe you will die first and I’ll be left alone. If we are lucky we’ll die together, but I don’t know if we’re still going to be together after that, on the other side. Who knows what happens after you die?”

 

Wonwoo didn’t, so he stayed silent.

 

“But I’m still alive,” Junhui said a moment later. “And you’re still here, with me. I don’t know what happens if any of us dies, and to tell the truth I don’t really want to think about it. So from now on I want to live to the fullest, do the things I want to do, say all that I want to say, cherish every moment with you. So when I die later...” Junhui stopped speaking for a moment. Wonwoo squeezed Junhui’s upper arm in silent support, willing him to go on. He felt Junhui inhale before he started speaking again, “So when I die later, I will die happy. I can live like that, right, Wonwoo?”

 

Wonwoo moved away a little so he could turn toward Junhui and look at his lover in the eyes. Junhui was looking at him with slightly glassy eyes laced with a layer of uncertainty.

 

“Of course you can,” he said, leaning up to press his forehead against Junhui’s. “You can live any way you want. I’ll be with you.”

 

“I know you will,” Junhui said. “I love you, Jeon Wonwoo. Please don’t die before I do.”

 

“I love you too. And I can’t promise, but I’ll try.”

 

Junhui snaked his arms around Wonwoo’s waist, pressing not only their foreheads now, but also their noses against each other.

 

“I guess I can live with that.”

 

Wonwoo felt the corners of his lips twitch into a smile. He could live with that too.

 

 

 


End file.
